Prefacing her remarks didn’t enhance her speech. In fact, it nearly ruined it.

As a manager, you may spend lots of time narrating what you’re about to do. If you treat employees like a dentist about to drill a patient’s cavity, you will say what you’re about to do–providing clarity and detail along the way.

My advice: Stop.

Skip the constant narration. Don’t give overviews of every little thing you’re about to do or say. Just plunge in.

People grow impatient when they’re told what’s about to happen. They think, “Okay, let’s move on now.” Or they grow anxious (as if they’re sitting in a dentist’s chair hearing about the impending pain they’ll feel).

If you wish to communicate a complex set of facts or instructions, it’s fine to provide an overview. Otherwise, don’t tell ‘em what you’re going to tell ‘em.

Just tell ‘em.

Instead, speak in non-threatening, collaborative language. Choose words that bring people together as your ally rather than underscore their inferiority as subordinates. And beware of subtly picking a fight when you’re trying to win them over.

Here are three examples of savvy communication:

1. Replace “What I need you to understand is…” with “Here’s the situation as I see it.”

2. Replace “You’re going to have to accept the fact that…” with “We have to come to terms with the fact that…”

3. Replace “You’re asking for too much” with “Let’s find a middle ground.”

There’s nothing inherently wrong with the sentences that I suggest you replace. They’re just a tad pushy. You can convey the same point in a gentler tone.

As a rule, avoid impulsive responses. Instead, think of the most diplomatic, empathetic way of driving home your message.

You may be angry, impatient or disappointed with the employee. Or you may simply dislike the worker’s personality. There are tons of excuses why you might lapse into confrontational language.

Work around those excuses by accepting this truth: Solutions flow from clear, well-received communication.

If you blow it, the repercussions will only make your job harder.

Don’t worry. It’s not a rare gift that only a few lucky people possess.

You want it? It’s yours—with a bit of effort.

Armed with charisma, you can mobilize people to do what they didn’t think they could do. That requires three steps:

1) Get people excited about your goal. Cite what’s in it for them, why they should care and why it matters in the larger scheme of things.

2) Align your actions with your words. Walk the talk and you gain credibility—a necessary element of charismatic speakers.

3) Listen intently. It’s a mistake to assume charismatic charmers regale us with spellbinding speeches. In fact, they capture our imagination and make us believe in them because they know when to keep quiet and pay attention to us.

None of these three steps is particularly hard. So what’s stopping you?

To deliver a powerful presentation, organize your thoughts so that they’re easy to follow. In this podcast, we examine ways to structure your speech so that people are more apt to listen attentively and buy into your ideas. (6 min.)

Click here for more FREE instructional management topic podcasts.

“But the media will raise these issues,” I said. “Wouldn’t you like me to prep him for these types of questions?”

“Trust me, he’s tired today,” she replied. “You don’t want to get him angry and distracted.”

Longtime readers of Managing People at Work are surely thinking, “Hey, that’s a reflection of poor leadership.” And you’re right.

If your staff tries to protect you from doing your job—and they see you as a frail sleepwalker or an easy-to-ignite hothead—then you’re hardly in a position to command their respect.

When you face your least favorite parts of your job, say to yourself, “Bring it on.” Welcome adversity. Withstand the urge to gloss over unpleasantness; instead, address it head-on.

Your employees will admire your fortitude. Rather than protect you from what you don’t like, they’ll work harder to please you.

Everywhere I look, I see alleged experts dishing out terrible tips. Here are two examples:

1. To sell your ideas, reveal more of yourself. Share why you care so deeply about what you’re selling.

When I developed sales training for life insurance agents, I was struck by their insistence that they regale prospects with their purchases of life coverage.

“I’ve bought two policies with $5 million of protection for my loved ones,” they’d say proudly as part of their sales pitch. “And I’m about to buy a third policy, a single-premium whole life product.”

There was just one problem: Many prospects didn’t view life insurance salespeople as role models of probity. In fact, prospects would tell me, “Of course the sales guy is going to brag about how much insurance he has. But that has nothing to do with me.”

2. To communicate well, stick to your core message. If someone asks a question that steers you off course, ignore it and reinforce your core message.

Many media trainers often advise, “Disregard a reporter’s question and stick to your prepared talking points instead.” Some managers follow that advice during the Q&A after they deliver presentations to influential VIPs.

Again, there’s a problem: Questioners lose trust in people who fail to respond. You’ll lose credibility if you evade inquiries and spout canned, carefully rehearsed lines.

The bottom line: If your gut tells you to ignore “expert” advice, you may want to listen to your gut.

Most time management gurus will tell you that procrastination isn’t as bad as multitasking. In this podcast, you’ll learn more about the scourge of multitasking—and what other insights these efficiency experts offer to help managers operate at peak productivity. (7 min.)

Click here for more FREE instructional management topic podcasts.

“He just won’t look me in the eye,” Jim told me. “I don’t trust the guy and I certainly don’t feel I’m connecting with him when we talk.”

The sad truth is many mid-level managers report to executives who fail to give good eye contact. There’s a reason for this.

Research shows that powerful execs “spend much less time making eye contact, as least when a person without power is talking,” The Wall Street Journal reports (Aug. 14-15 issue, p. W2).

That leaves managers fuming. They’re thinking, “Why isn’t this person listening to me?”

Years ago, I worked for a CEO who liked to look just past my right ear when I was speaking with him. Sometimes, for variety, he’d look about two inches over my head instead.

He almost never looked directly at me.

Over time, I discovered that the CEO respected me, heeded my advice on occasion and opened career doors for me. He just lacked basic people skills—and I initially interpreted his awkwardness as disinterest or disapproval.

I shared my experience with Jim. He shook his head and insisted his case was different.

“I work for someone who just doesn’t hold me in high regard,” Jim declared. “It’s not that he’s socially awkward, trust me.”

Ultimately, Jim and I hatched a plan. Rather than meet in person, Jim and his boss have begun corresponding by e-mail more regularly. Both seem to prefer the specificity of expressing themselves via keyboard.

Jim likes articulating his ideas and providing progress reports in writing. And he tells me his boss likes giving directives (and even chiding Jim!) in e-mails.

While it’s still early in the experiment, it highlights a key point: When you don’t like how you’re interacting with someone at work, try a different communication strategy.

When adversity strikes, it’s easy to give up or at least resign yourself to adverse outcomes. But there’s a better strategy. In this podcast, you’ll learn about the powerfully destructive pull of “learned helplessness” and three simple steps to overcome it.  (6 min.)

Click here for more FREE instructional management topic podcasts.

Managers set a tone by their behavior and comments (whether they realize it or not). Employees adjust their attitude and actions to fit the prevailing culture that’s shaped by senior management’s tone.

In the last week, news accounts featuring two large American companies provide case studies in the importance of organizational culture.

On Aug. 9, The Wall Street Journal reported that the Apple executive who ran the iPhone left the company. Mark Papermaster, senior vice president for mobile devices, reportedly had “a falling out” with Steve Jobs, Apple’s CEO.

The article cited “cultural incompatibility with the company” as a key problem. Papermaster had only been with Apple for 15 months. He apparently “wasn’t used to Apple’s corporate culture, where even senior executives are expected to keep on top of the smallest details of their areas of responsibility and often have to handle many tasks directly, as opposed to delegating them.”

That’s a fairly revealing tidbit about Apple’s internal culture. Papermaster came over to Apple from IBM—hardly a scrappy, do-it-yourself operation. My guess is he was accustomed to delegating at IBM and didn’t cotton to Apple’s looser, less structured environment.

Then there’s the burst of shocking honesty coming out of the mouth of the interim CEO at Omnicare, a provider of pharmacy services to nursing homes. The interim CEO, James Shelton, stepped in after Omnicare’s former CEO retired suddenly.

The Wall Street Journal reported on Aug. 6 that Shelton expressed concern that the company was beset by a “top-down” culture where field staff faced pay cuts along with lack of support from the home office.

“We’ve had too much corporate wealth and not enough field wealth,” he told analysts on a conference call.

When a new CEO makes such a bold statement, staffers sit up and take notice. My hunch is Omnicare’s field employees feel a renewed sense of hope.

And it’s all because their leader is speaking honestly about the need to change the internal culture. That’s the kind of environment where people at all levels feel safe speaking the truth. And they thrive as a result.